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Fun Sayings
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Like everything else on this site... these are expressed opinions.
Don't like them - then do not read them, move along.
You most likely
have seen the following:
Grant me the
serenity to accept the things I can not change,
here are some new
versions....
Management:
Grant me the
power to change things they say can not be changed,
the backbone and
fortitude to stand up against the storm when I do,
and the platinum
parachute when they fire me because I did.
Customer
service:
Grant me the
patience to listen to these people whine,
the ability to
give them a reasonable answer without getting yelled at more,
and the breaks
and lunch I need before quitting time.
Technician:
Grant me the
ability to understand the person and what they are trying to explain,
the ability to
know how several hundred programs (made by engineers who are paid thousands of
more a year than I am)
are interacting
with each other, hardware, and possibly the internet,
and the ability
to get them working again in my fifteen to thirty minute window my employer
has set without having a nervous breakdown.
Engineer:
Grant me the
knowledge to design what I need to exceed expectations,
the ability to
dumb it down far enough for management to wrap their minds and wallets around
it,
the ability to
deploy or construct it with the resources that are given.
Medical
professional:
Grant me the
patience and wisdom to hear the issues and concerns of my patient,
the knowledge and
care to help resolve their problems and restore them to health,
and the ability
to get by on the pay while remaining optimistic.
True
Physician
Grant me the
ability to heal the injured - not only their bodies, but their hearts and
minds as well,
the ability to
hold their lives in my hand without ego, and accept their thanks as true
payment,
and the time to
have my life and family see the results of my Hippocratic Oath in action.
Most
doctors
Grant me a load
of patients that do not have an HMO, and a staff willing to accept almost no
pay,
the ability to
placate the patients with drugs and high priced surgery or therapy,
and loads of cash
so my wife lets me golf while she is shopping.
Politician:
Grant me
constituents who will vote for me,
aides who will do
the real work and research for me,
and the ability
to get re-elected after not doing my job to begin with.
Sales
Person at a store:
Grant me the
ability to ignore the customer and continue my conversation / phone call,
A paycheck for
standing around while one or two people do the real work,
and the hope that
the stuff I put on layaway is still in fashion when I get it out.
Waitress:
Give me the
ability to hear what they mumbled they wanted,
the strength to
lift these dishes and refill their drinks,
and a decent
tip for trying to do my best.
Electrician:
Give me the
patience to see what is wrong before I am shocked,
give me the
wisdom of knowing when not to laugh when I see eight things plugged into one
outlet,
and the ability
to explain why 20Amps worth of appliances will not work on a 15Amp circuit.
Plumber:
Give me the
strength of composure not to get ill when I move the toilet,
allow me the
grace of being able to work with my shirt tucked in as I am twisted around
things,
and the wisdom
to know not to overcharge so I get more business.
Carpenter:
Fireman:
Police:
EMT:
Teacher:
Give me the
knowledge, wisdom, and compassion to shape their minds
Give me the
patience and serenity to answer their questions
and give me the
smile in knowing they will thank me some day.
Professor:
Banker:
Taxi
Cab Driver:
Redneck:
Give me a beer,
my girl,
and a rifle.
You can keep the poetry.
Trash
collector:
Senior
Citizen:
Bar
patron:
Give me one
shot of whiskey,
two mugs of
beer,
and call me a
taxi when I go to leave from here.
Army
soldier:
Give me the knowledge that I keep those at home safe from
harm,
Grant me the peace of knowing I am prepared to stand for
freedom,
and the love of my country for serving to protect it.
Army
Airborne:
Give me the heart to stand with rifle in hand and silk on my
back,
Grant me the courage to face what lies beyond the edge of the
C-130 doors,
and the Wisdom to know when to pull my reserve chute so I can land safely and kick some terrorist tail.
Army
Special Forces:
Grant me the skill and heart to walk in places others dare
not tread,
to teach those I meet to fight against those who would oppress them,
and the honor to liberate those who sit in fear and darkness.
Army
Ranger:
Marine:
Grant me the strength to be ready for war, while I pray for
peace,
Let me walk with the honor of my brothers who I will proudly
stand beside,
and let my country know I will always server. Semper Fi
Navy
Sailor:
Navy
SEAL:
Air
Force soldier:
Coast
Guard sailor:
Poet
Give me the rhyme and verse to link the words of love, the measure to make hearts think of the stars above, and the gentleness in its meaning to feel like a velvet glove. College Student:
Give me a
credit card that I can max out,
a student
loan my parents may loose their house over,
then enough
education to be able to declare bankruptcy and get out of it.
---
Here are additional ones submitted. Authors noted by initials. Consultant / G.R.
Consultant
Grant me the charisma to sell services the clients don't really need,
the courage
to tell them what they already know, but in different words,
and the speed
to get out with the money before they figure it out!
Stand for what
you believe in,
even if you stand
alone.
/lm 23Jan08
I wrote these. So like em or leave em, they are stayin. |
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